★

MIHKI ♥

I love my life and myself ♥
i may be emo and demoralise at times, but can be so energetic and outgoing the next moment ♥
~studied in Temasek Poly~
~studying in SIM UOL~
mihki@hotmail.sg
Instagram♥ mihkiestelle

Exit[x]

.M.u.s.i.c.

This Flash Player was created @ FlashWidgetz.com.

please don't go away

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

looking at my own blog ... reading .. and i goes .. haiz :{.

Thinking : why do i mostly post stuff that i screw up? how about the happy moments ? :O

Last time i tried my very best, trying to post every single wonderful moments i had onto my blog..

But i guess.. cause of PMS ? or stress? or unwanted problems? which makes my mind blows off. At that very moment when i was in a rage, i just couldnt control myself to spill out all the thinkings i had at those moments.

But .. Everytime after i realise how foolish i was to even upset someone i love the most, it hurts me more . I starts to feel selfish .. ignorant and unwanted.

Selfish, not caring or thinking of others before bursting out my words and thoughts.

Ignorant, to the surrounding. due to brain block ? ( mayb just an excuse T.T ? )

Unwanted, cause of my unacceptable behaviour. i can feel nobody wants to bother about me.

ok .. well sometimes i gets really weird .. cause i don't quite get what im trying to imply and feels that my words are kindda crappy ..

Actually saying all this .. may be just an excuse or beating about the bush ..

My real intention and what i really think and feel is ...

i know i love you .. but why do i always hurt you ? why is my mind playing with me ? trying to phycho me to think about the bad stuff .. i hate it so much too .. but the thoughts gets so strong that i want to find out the truth from you which eventually turns out ugly when you get pretty mad :{.

Sigh.. what should i do ? i feel so terrible and regretful towards you when i know i always complain ? or say stuff that hurts you? and yet you always forgives me and treat me really nice ... i feel really .. mean .. sometimes i even thought that ... isit im sick? as if there's something wrong wit me ? why do i feel like i have 2 personality? One which is good while another is bad.. is everyone like that ?

sigh .. i feel that im irritating .. why do i always have so many questions ? but i rarely ask question during school time .. i'm afraid people might laugh at me.. teachers and friends might scold me ... cause whatever i ask is always dumb and stupid and foolish and useless piece of shitt ?!?!

cause i'm blur! you think i want that ? everyone have their weakness and it's not what i want either .. i just daydream out of a sudden which i don't even know -.- others find it irritating as they feels that you are being lazy and not attentive. some people just don't give a damn to what others feels.

OK .. this post is like .. totally jumping conclusion here and there ... cause i have a bad habit .. that is to say out what ever is in my mind. after i've finish one item i'll think of another and continue talking about it which cause confusion to people .. especially when i talk to them =\ ( e.g talking about A suddenly pop out a K .. lol =\ my bad )

But i love it when i can post about my thoughts . Cause i feel happier and less pressure on myself =] ok. i think i can get to sleep now =]! feel much better ! ^0^

1:44 AM

BACKWARD ◄

► FORWARD

.M.E.M.O.R.I.E.S.

♥never forgotten